Controversial topics are often considered taboo and avoided completely in conversation. These topics include religion, political affiliation, cliquish self-segregation (racial or otherwise), abortion, gay rights, corporal punishment, and the multitude of other touchy issues. The most apparent reasons for this lack of discussion are that people seek to avoid conflict and are often unwilling to allow their own beliefs to come into question. Are these valid excuses? No! Not only are these excuses cowardice, they perpetuate ignorance and slow the overall progress of society. Only open-minded discussion provides a road to solve these problems. Here, a logical approach to dealing with controversial issues will be explored such that all parties involved may save face and still have their voices heard. Such discussion is the blood of democracy.
1. Develop a well informed opinion.
The first and the most important step to successfully discussing a controversial topic is to develop a well informed opinion. The primary reason for conflict when conversations turn to these issues is that one or more of those involved run out of meaningful insights to contribute and become frustrated. We have all found ourselves in these situations where a calm discussion turns into a "peeing contest." This is the breakdown in communication that must be avoided. If a topic arises that a person has not considered previously, that individual should be open and admit so. For instance, one could say, "I really haven't thought about that enough to form an opinion. But, I would be interested in hearing your views and giving them consideration." A statement like this will save a person from trying to formulate an opinion on-the-fly, which often ends in ill-informed, hasty conclusions and frustration. "Haste makes waste." In addition, such a comment allows the person to remain in the conversation and explore the other person's thoughts on the subject. If the topic is intriguing, one can always give it thought and do research during his or her personal time and then pursue the discussion at another time. Avoid frustration by developing a well informed opinion.
2. Be open-minded.
It is very important to have an open-mind when considering controversial issues. Very few of us would ever admit to being narrow-minded and would become very defensive if accused of being so. However, if a person finds themselves condemning the opinions of others without feeling the need to hear them out, that person is being narrow-minded. A person must self-diagnose his or her own narrow-mindedness through reflection. For instance, regardless of your stance on abortion, what are the main arguments of the opposition? Do you know? If you do not, it is likely that you have never considered the entire picture. This is the very definition of being narrow-minded. It is still absolutely fine to feel strongly one way or the other about a topic. Even if a person feels that it would be impossible for any evidence or information to change his or her perspective, it is still important to hear and consider the opinion(s) of the opposition, because only then may it become possible to begin a search for common ground and possibly discover a resolution. Also, there is always the outside chance, no matter how remote, that a person could change stances. Sincerely consider the points of the opposition before making final conclusions about an issue.
3. Ask questions.
When participating in a discussion concerning a controversial topic, it is important to be inquisitive. Figure out why people feel the way they do by asking questions about the other person's key points. However, it is crucial to be considerate when probing. For example, one may ask, "I find it interesting you feel that way. How did you come to that conclusion?" Questions like this will promote the other person(s) to be more open and give them the impression that you are interested in hearing their side, which you should sincerely be. This will allow those involved to find the roots of individual differences. In addition, it often gives all parties an opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of the issue. Be an active listener and ask considerate questions about other people's views.
4. Be willing to question the validity of your own opinions.
Upon a thorough conversation of an issue, one should determine whether his or her perspective is still completely valid given any new information or angles of consideration. This can be a very hard thing to do, as many controversial issues invoke opinions formulated from deep seeded lessens learned early in life which are bolstered by years of continual belief. In this case, one should understand that there is a reason why these issues are considered to be controversial, namely that there are large numbers of people on either side of the argument (and varying degrees in-between). Further, it is reasonable to believe that when such large numbers are present on either side, both sides likely are neither completely wrong nor completely right. Thus, it is logical to conclude that no matter to what opinion to which one subscribes, there is always some probability that some portion of that view is flawed. It would be arrogant to conclude otherwise. A wise person realizes that there will always be more to learn and that acquiring all-encompassing knowledge is a pipe dream. Be humble; consider the possibility that you may not be completely right.
5. Do not condemn others or their opinions.
If you are (or become) a person willing to talk about these types of issues, it is inevitable that you will encounter stubborn, uninformed individuals. To be quite honest, quickly ending the conversation is sometimes a viable option. On the other hand, if you are compelled to continue the discussion, it is important to handle the situation properly. Effectively in this scenario, you have become an educator. Do not handle it as if it is an attempted indoctrination. The person does not necessarily have to agree with you in the end. One's purpose here is to effectively communicate his or her ideas and the reasons for those beliefs without alienating any other individuals. For instance, one may preface an opinion by, "It's not out of the question that I may be wrong, but I believe... because..." In this instance, it is very important to provide logical reasons why you feel the way you do. It allows other people the opportunity to experience your thought processes and make reasonable, independent conclusions about your view. Once again, it is important to accept that all one can do is try and accurately express his or her opinions in an understandable fashion. It is not a failure when the other party leaves unconvinced. Those people are entitled to feel as they wish. However, I will make a 100% guarantee that no minds will be swayed if others (or their opinions) are ever belittled, marginalized, or condemned at any time during the discussion.
In conclusion, reasonable criteria have been given to conduct discussions of difficult issues. In the past, it has been social policy to avoid such conversations. However, it is apparent that such a policy slows the progress of society through the inevitable procrastination of resolving problems that arise from controversial issues. This problem is widespread, infecting a broad range of relationships from individual to governmental. It is time to become a population that deals with problems rather than putting them off. Let us begin now. Let us employ these suggestions and begin resolving our differences. The future of free men and women depend on it.
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